


Don't Tell Your Mother

by songbook



Series: In A Bar Far, Far Away [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 09:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14040993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songbook/pseuds/songbook
Summary: In a bar far, far away...Han and Luke end up in a bar with eight year old Ben Solo.





	Don't Tell Your Mother

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of unrelated works that all take place in bars across the galaxy.

The Falcon needed repairs. Chewie had the parts, but it was going to take an hour or two before it was ready. And eight-year-old Ben was complaining that he was hungry. Ignoring Luke’s comments about how it seemed the Falcon was under repair more than it was working properly these days, Han took his son’s hand and started towards the nearby town. There had to be some place to get food. 

The entire reason they were on this kriffing moon was because Luke had convinced Chewie to take him to some old Jedi temple and Ben had begged to go along. Leia insisted she trusted Chewie, but wasn’t sending her only son alone with his hairbrained Uncle. So Han was here. They had found the Jedi temple, which as Han had predicted, was an abandoned pile of rocks. 

Of course, Luke thought it was the best pile of rocks he had ever seen and Ben told Han that he could feel the Force. It was all giving Han a headache. But Luke and Ben were happy, so Han just dealt with it. That was until they tried to leave and the Falcon decided that it wasn’t going to start. So here he was, walking back to town listening to an eight-year-old recounting every amazing thing that had happened today. 

Han had been to this moon before, probably ten years ago, but he remembered a place that served the best aurebash soup around. At the time there had been a lady named Leta that had been found of Chewie and always gave them extra bread to go with the soup. The town was less than a mile from where they had parked the Falcon and it didn’t take long to find civilization. 

“I’m sure if we ask someone, they can point us to some food,” said Luke easily as he walked a few paces behind Han and Ben. 

“The less people we talk to, the better,” growled Han. “Don’t you remember what happened last time someone recognized us?” 

For a man who had spent the majority of his life as a smuggler, Han had worked very hard to be recognized only be the right people. However, being a military hero, befriending a Jedi, and marrying Princess Leia Organa, had put his name and face all over the galaxy. 

Luke chuckled at his cynicism. “It wasn’t that bad. They were nice people.” 

“It took us four hours to escape. You told the story of destroying the Death Star eight times.” Han spotted a familiar building ahead. Good, the place was still here. The sign out front was in a different language, but he recognized a few symbols meaning food and drink. “This place will do.” 

Luke started to protest, but Han was already pushing the door open with the thought of warm soup. It was relatively crowded inside and the music was rather loud, but Han didn’t care. He was finding his way to a table when Luke grabbed his arm. 

“I think this is a bar,” Luke whispered in his ear. 

Han blinked back in confusion. “So? Bars have food. Have a drink too, it’s not like you’re flying.” 

Han turned his back on Luke and guided Ben to a booth where the young boy slid in effortlessly. Han took a seat next to him, his arm parentally draped over the boy’s shoulders. He unconsciously fluffed his son’s dark hair with affection. Luke sat across from them, nervously taking in the scenery. 

“Flag down a waitress if you see one, will you?” growled Han as he too scanned the small establishment for someone to take their order. 

Luke was probably right, it was a bar. The actual bar at the back of the room indicated as much. To the right, were a set of pool tables surrounded by men smoking questionable substances. To the left, silent people were sitting in front of various gambling machines. The tables were crowded with species of all sorts drinking out of bottles and liquor filled glasses. Yep. Definitely a bar. 

“I’m telling you, Han-”

“I get it. It’s a bar. Doesn’t mean we still can’t grab a bite to eat.” Turning to his son, who was also looking around the room with his own brand of curiosity, he said, “Don’t tell your mother, okay?” 

“Sure,” replied Ben, eager to be a part of secret with his father and uncle that didn’t include his mother. Han smirked. Leia often said that Ben was her child through and through. He hated to break it to her, but Ben had plenty of Han in him. 

A male with dark green skin approached their table to take their order. He had black pants on with no shirt, revealing reptilian like skin that had been pierced with multiple gold hoops. The waiter gave absolutely no attention to the eight-year-old and asked, “What can I get you?” 

“A couple bowls of aurebash soup, two beers, and a water for the kid,” answered Han before Luke could open his mouth. Luke had a problem with talking too much to strangers. They were just here for the food. Their green waiter left as quickly as he came. 

Luke slumped back in his chair. “At least the music’s good.” 

“Was he a Falleen?” asked Ben, his dark eyes squinting after their waiter. Han hadn’t paid much attention to his species, to be honest. Bars like this one attracted all kinds. Of course, Ben had been studying different planets and cultures recently when he visited Leia at the Senate, so he was curious about everything. 

Luke took the chance to talk and replied, “Probably. Although, he’s probably not full Falleen. My guess is that there’s a little human in him as well.” 

“What do you mean, not full Falleen?” asked Ben, scrunching up his nose. “There’s human in him? Like he ate a human?” 

Han laughed as Luke tried to explain. “No, of course not. I mean, that his parents may not have both been of the same race.” 

“You can do that?” asked Ben, suddenly enthralled at the thought. 

“People love all kinds of people, kid. Doesn’t matter what they look like or where they’re from. So sometimes, when two people…” Han trailed off, not sure of how to continue. 

Across from him, it was Luke’s turn to be amused. “Yeah, when two people do what, Han?” 

“What I mean is, you know how your mother and I had you…” Han backtracked quickly. 

“You mean when you had sex.” 

“WHAT!?” Both Luke and Han exclaimed in alarm. 

The moment was briefly interrupted by the green waiter dropping off their soups and drinks. Han turned to his son and asked sternly, “Where did you hear that word?” 

“I read about it,” replied Ben with a broad smile. “It means to create a baby.” 

“Yeah…that’s what it means.” Luke was having a hard time not laughing. 

Han took a swallow of his beer and watched Ben begin eating his soup. This was one of those parenting moments that Leia always talked about. “I mean, you’re partially right. Sex can lead to a baby.” 

“Why else would you have sex?” asked Ben and Han cursed his son’s never-ending curiosity. 

“You know what, how about we have this conversation later. In like a couple of years…” he grumbled. Then took a second to remember where Ben had learned the word and added, “And stop reading about sex. You’re too young for that.” 

Ben shrugged and continued to spoon mouthfuls of the soup into his mouth. “Ok.” 

“And don’t tell your mother that you know what that word means,” added Luke and Han nodded approvingly. 

The three ate in silence for a few minutes before loud voices got their attention. It seemed a few humans had pissed of some ithornians over at the pool tables. The argument was getting heated and they were beginning to shout louder, including a few choice words that Leia had forbidden in their household after Ben was born. 

Ben piped up and asked, “What does ‘son of a schutta’ mean?” 

“Never say that again,” growled Han as he glared in the direction of the fight. The wait staff was trying to break it up, but a few had already started throwing punches. 

“But what does it mean?” 

Luke tore his eyes away from the escalating fight to explain. “It’s a very bad insult. One you should never use. It’s very rude to the person you’re saying it to, especially to women in general. A schutta refers to a woman who-”

“Luke…” warned Han. The fight had moved outside, away from Ben’s eyes and ears, but the kid was still trying to figure out what the phrase meant. “Don’t use that word and we’ll tell you what it means when you’re older. And don’t tell your mother you heard that.” 

“Fine,” answered Ben grumpily. 

They finished the rest of their soup in private. Han gave the waiter the proper amount of credits and the trio got up to leave. Before they could, a group of females of various species came through the door. What they lacked in clothes, they made up for in curves, beauty, and pure sex appeal. Patrons of the bar cat called and crooned at the new comers. The women called back, shimmying, and gesturing back at them. 

Ben was still holding Han’s hand, but he was gaping at the scantily clad women in front of them. Luke reached over quickly to cover his eyes and said, “We should get out of here.” 

“You think?” growled Han, pulling Ben and Luke to the door. 

Ben was peaking around his uncle’s hands to get a better look. “Why don’t they have shirts on? I guess the waiter didn’t have a shirt on either. But Mom said girls have to wear shirts…” 

Han replied hastily, “And she’s absolutely right.” 

“But then why aren’t they wearing shirts?” 

“Well, they have parts that you don’t have…” started Luke and Han couldn’t wait to get out of this bar. 

“Like boobs?” 

“Why do you know…you know what? Don’t answer that.” Han had just managed to put a hand on the door when Ben turned back to look at the women who were beginning to entertain the bar. 

“That lady has three boobs!” exclaimed Ben as Han dragged him outside. Luke stumbled out after them. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Han decided to try to explain. “Look, son, some people…men and women…make a living entertaining other people. And sometimes that means not wearing much clothing. But that’s something that’s only for adults, ok?” 

“Ok,” replied Ben simply. He clearly wasn’t too worried about what he had just seen, even though both Luke and Han were. But the boy didn’t have any more questions and Han wasn’t about to stimulate his imagination any further. 

Chewie had the Falcon ready to go when they got back. And after chastising Han and Luke for not bringing him back any food, they started for home. Ben was content in his seat to continue his reading about Jedi History. 

As the Falcon was nearing Chandrila, Han turned around to look at Ben. “Don’t forget…whatever you do, don’t-”

“-tell mom,” repeated Ben obediently. Luke smiled at him encouragingly and Han turned back to piloting the descent to the planet. It wasn’t long before they had landed the Falcon and taken a lift back to Han and Leia’s apartments near the Senate. 

Leia had been waiting for them and met them at the door. She was still wearing a formal dress and her braids were meant for a meeting, not a relaxing night at home, which meant she had just gotten back from the Senate. Han loved it when she was all dressed up; she loved being a Senator and Han loved seeing her happy. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” he said and kissed her gently. 

“How are my favorite boys?” she asked. Leia gave Chewie and Luke a hug. Ben bounded over to his mother and gave her a hug and a quick kiss to the cheek. Leia smiled and asked, “How was the temple?”

Ben glanced over his shoulder at Han and Luke, shrugged, and said, “It was fine.”

“Fine?” asked Leia, looking questionably at the men. This was Ben’s first time to a Jedi temple. She had expected more than ‘fine’. 

“Yep.” Ben gave her another hug and walked smoothly into the apartment. Han almost laughed out loud, but instead managed to keep his amusement to a smirk. That was his son. 

“Fine, huh?” she asked again. She had that look in her eyes that told Han that she thought the trip was anything but fine.

“Yep,” replied Han and Luke in unison. Chewie gave a roar of approval.


End file.
